21 An optimist is a man who starts a crossword puzzle with a fountain pen.
22 I’m an optimist, but I’m an optimist who carries a raincoat. – Harold Wilson
23 The optimist proclaims that we live n the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears that is true. – James Branch Cabell
24 God answered prayers of paralyzed little boy “No” said God.
25 There are times when I think that the reading I have done in the past has had no effect except to cloud my mind and make me indecisive. – Robertson Davies
26 A bookworm in bed with a new novel and a good reading lamp is as much prepared for pleasure as a pretty girl at a college dance. – Phyllis McGinley
27 People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. – Logan Pearsall Smith
28 All religions are the same: basically guilt, with different holidays. – Cathy Ladman
29 Oh Charles, a woman wants certain things. She needs to be loved, wanted, cherished, sought after, wooed, flattered, cosseted, pampered. She needs sympathy, affection, devotion, understanding, tenderness, infatuation, adulation, idolatry – that isn’t much to ask Charles. – Barry Took
30 The Russian Police have a Missing Persons Department. That’s where they decide which persons are going to go missing. – Yakov Smirnoff
31 Silence is the best substitut for brains ever invented. – Henry Fountain Ashurst
32 Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? Jules Feiffer
33 Questions for a Single Man
What if I never find the right person for me?
Would it help if I stuck my head out of my apartment window and screamed “I’m desperate!”
Why are women so impressed who are gainfully employed?
What if I get rejected and I die from the humiliation?
What f I meet a woman who doesn’t understand my deep need to watch hour after hour of professional sport on TV?
How come I can’t have exactly what I want without obligation?
What if the right person for me turns out to be someone I don’t want?
Questions for a Single Woman
Does wondering if you are desperate mean you are desperate?
Could my answering machine e broken?
How could he back out when I had our lives planned out down to the last detail?
Even though he was negative, controlling, unsupportive, and abusive, why do I miss that darling man so much?
Can you ever feel enough self-doubt?
Why did the last stupid jerk I did not like, stop calling me? – Matt Groening
34 The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more. Max Kaufmann
35 They say if you smoke you knock off ten years. But it’s the last ten. What do you miss? The drooling years? – John Mendoza
36 It’s raining cats and dogs! I know, I just stepped into a poodle.
37 …why haven’t women got labels on their forehead saying “Danger: Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends. – Jeffrey Bernard
38 Men don’t know much about women. We do know when they are happy, we know when they are crying and we know when they are pissed off. We just don’t now in which order these are going to come to us. – Evan Davis
39 If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around him, is he still wrong? – Jerry Dennis
40 Changeable women are more endurable than monotonous ones. They are sometimes murdered but seldom deserted. – George Bernard Shaw