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Before Sunset

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    08/09/2007 at 20:37

    You know, it’s not even that! I was fine until I read your fucking book. It stirred shit up, you know? It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and now it’s like I don’t believe in anything that relates to love, I don’t feel things for people anymore. In a way I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again. Like, somehow, this night took things away from me and I expressed them to you and you took them away with you; it made me feel cold, like your love wasn’t for me.

    I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that.

    You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It’s funny: every single of my ex-es are now married. Man go out with me, we break up and than they get married. And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is, that I taught them to care and respect women…

    I think I am one of those guys…

    You know, I wanna kill them! Why didn’t they ask me to marry them? I would have said “no” but at least they could have asked. But it’s my fault; I know it’s my fault because I never felt it was the right man, never. But what does it mean the right man? The love of your life? The concept is absurd! The idea that we can only be complete with another person is EVIL! Right?

    Can I talk?

    You know, I guess I’ve been heartbroken too many times and than I recovered. So now, from the start I make no effort because I know it’s not going to work out.

    You can’t do that! You can’t live your life trying to avoid pain.

    Ok, you know, lose the words, I got to get away from you. It is being around you. Don’t touch me. (…)

    I am just so happy to be with you. I am so glad you didn’t forget about me.

    No, I didn’t and it pisses me off, ok? You come here to Paris, all romantic and married. Screw you! Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to get you or anything. All I need is a married man! And there has been so many water under the bridge is not about you anymore or about that moment in time that is forever gone. I don’t know.

    You say all that but you didn’t even remember having sex, so…

    Of course I remembered!

    You did?

    Yes! Women pretend things like that. I don’t know…

    They do?

    Yes. What I was supposed to say? That I remembered the wine, the park and us looking at the stars fading away as the sun came up? We had sex twice, you idiot!

    All right, you know what? I am just happy to see you. Even if you have become an angry, manic-depressive activist. I still like you, I still enjoy being around you!

    I feel the same. I am sorry, I don’t know what happened. I just had to let it all out.

    Don’t worry about it.

    I am so miserable in my love life, in my relationship, I always act like I am detached but I am dying inside. I am dying because I am so numb I don’t feel pain or excitement. I am not even bitter, I am just…

    You thing you are the one dying inside? My life is 24/7 bad! The only happiness I get is when I am out with my son. I’ve been in marriage counseling, I’ve done things I never thought I would have to do: I licked candles, bought self-help books, lingerie…

    Did the candles help?

    Hell no! I don’t love her the way she needs to be loved and I don’t even see a future for us. Than I look at my little boy, sitting at the table, across from me, and I thing I would suffer any torture to be with him for all the minutes of his life…I don’t want to miss out on one! But then there is no joy, no laughter in my home and I don’t want him growing up in that…

    Oh, no laughter! That’s terrible! My parents have been together for 35 years, and even when they have a bad fight they end up laughing like crazy.

    I don’t want to be one of those people getting divorced at 52 and falling down into tears, admitting they have never really loved their spouses and feeling that their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner. You know, I want a great life, I want her to have a great life, she deserves that! But we just live in the pretence of a marriage, responsibilities, you know, all this ideas of how people are supposed to live.
    Than I have these dreams.

    What dreams?

    I have these dreams, you know, that I am standing on a platform and you keep going by on a train. And you go by, you go by, you go by….and I wake up with a fucking sweat and than I have this other dream where you are pregnant in bed beside me, naked and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to and than you look away and I touch you anyway, right on your ankle and your skin is so soft and I wake up in sobs…and my wife is sitting there looking at me and I feel I am million miles from her. And I know is something wrong, that I can’t keep living like this, that there has to be more to love than commitment. But than I think I might have given up on the whole idea of romantic love, that I might have put it to bed, that day when you were there.

  • Reply
    Hellene, tomata cu scufiţă
    09/09/2007 at 10:09

    Te rog spune-mi ca ai gasit dialogul pe net undeva si nu l-ai scris dupa dictare. :-s Fain film, btw. 😉

  • Reply
    Clover Shaped Screwdriver
    09/09/2007 at 17:08

    In general nu am o fire romantica, dar Before Sunrise/Sunset e cea mai frumoasa poveste de dragoste pe care am vazut-o in vreun film. 🙂

  • Reply
    09/09/2007 at 18:48

    @Hellene – e titrarea putin ajustata 🙂

    @ clover shaped scredriver – in primul rand bine ai venit 🙂
    Nici eu nu sufar de romantism (as zice dimpotriva, tind mai degraba sa fiu cinica) dar before sunset/sunrise sunt doua filme pe care le-am considerat deosebite. Mi se par cele mai bune filme de dragoste.
    Am mai vazut si Waking Life, de acelasi regizor.Ti-l recomand 🙂

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